Parents play an imperative role in the psycho-social personality development of children through their behaviour and environment. There has been a debate among psychologists on parenting styles and their influence on a child’s personality development. A big part of Pakistani society has always adopted an authoritarian parenting style where they handle everything, including decision-making without a child’s consultation. It is widely acceptable in South Asian countries. Culture, religion, and societal norms are the factors that influence the mindset of Pakistani parents. All these conditions belong to authoritarian parenting. According to the United Nations International Children’s Emergency Fund (UNICEF), parenting is the job of providing nurturing care throughout childhood preparing children to live in society, form relationships, learn, work, and thrive. For a better understanding of parenting styles, one needs to understand the types of parenting styles implemented and their effects on a child’s personality. According to psychologist Diana Blumberg Baumrind, there are four parenting styles authoritarian, permissive, authoritative, and neglectful.
To begin with, authoritarian parenting gives parents all control over their children, so they become obedient. These children learn to suppress their emotions and follow duties only. However, the child is never allowed to decide based on her intrinsic interests. As adults, they do not know what they want. They might become an idealistic child for their parents and society. However, they become unhappy inside.
On the other hand, permissive parents are those who love their children and do not exert any kind of control. When these children grow, they cannot cope with conflict and do not learn to control their emotions. Another impressive parenting, authoritative in which they encourage a child’s point of view and freedom within limits. As an adult, he agrees to rules only after they have been discussed and he feels he understands them. Subsequently, neglected parents are not involved and often do not take an interest in their children. Lack of attention leads to a lack of trust in themselves and others. Because of their insecurity, they are unable to form healthy relationships and develop a negative image of themselves.
Add to this the wise words of Maria Montessori: “Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.”
Moreover, parenting styles along with childhood experiences are crucial to have an impact on a child’s personality development. Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis – emphasizes childhood traumas and how the unconscious mind later shapes the child’s personality. Further, he claims childhood experiences have a tremendous effect on personality development. According to Freud, “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.” His theory indicates that parental influences are mainly responsible for their child’s personality development.
On the other hand, J.B. -a well-known psychologist- believes that nurturing plays a vital role in a child’s personality development. The earliest years of relationships with others play a vital role in shaping how the brain grows and develops. Moreover, early relationships, whether they are abusive or neglectful, have a long-term impact on children. These abusive or toxic relationships put them at greater risk of experiencing mental health problems in the future.
To conclude, parents must give value and attention to their children, so they do not feel lonely. Subsequently, parents should respect children’s decisions and not be critical of them. This approach helps children in decision-making, and conflict resolution when they grow up. In addition, parents should avoid abusing their children, whether it is physical or emotional.
